A time for transparency.
A season of sadness. We all have them. Sometimes a tragedy, a crisis, will rock our world and a new and unexpected season slams upon us with the force of a tornado. But other times, there can be a gradual dawning of a time of darkness. For me, this is one of those times. A time when I cling to what I know, and work through what I feel, with the otherworldly confidence I have in Jesus Christ. I share this for everyone who struggles in the darkness of the soul. There is light. It is there. He is there. Receive and acknowledge His truth.
A gradual dawning
But not of light
A dawning of darkness
A progression that moves slowly
Piece by piece, time by time, moment by moment
To inevitable painful reality affirmed again
A wakeup call that makes slumber a longing
A reality that makes everything before feel like pretense
Before when there was a glimmer, a glimpse, a possibility of a different dawning
That I touched and marveled at
And allowed myself to believe
Or was it truth that is gone?
A weariness in the deepest corners
Of my soul.
There is no storm
Only silence in the dark
I have allowed this to come upon me
And now it surrounds all of me
Why do I feel waves crashing
Why do I feel like I’m drowning
When the ocean is calm?
Yet there are waves that can’t be seen
The rhythm of the ocean beneath the calm
The internal storm rages
The gradual dawning brings no morning
No new day
Only the same
The waves have a heartbreaking pattern
Stuck on repeat.
Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer’s; he makes me tread on my high places.